12 vs 16 Steps for Recovery

Services

Individual Counselling

Couple Counselling

Family Counselling

Telephone Counselling

Family and Loved Ones Counselling Group

Individual Counselling

Are you struggling with addictive behaviours?

Or, are you close to someone who is?

Individual counselling gives you a chance to be able to resolve your problems in a safe place.

Length of Sessions:
Sessions are one hour in length. You can decide how often you want to attend sessions. Generally, when you first begin counselling, it is a good idea to commit to coming at least once a week. This way you can more quickly break through whatever has been getting in your way of overcoming your addictions.

You may also choose to come twice a week for a while, if your problems are of a more urgent nature.

Length of Therapy:
The length of time that you remain in therapy will depend on a number of factors. Some issues can take more time than others to resolve.

For example, if you are a substance misuser, you may need to look at going to detox and/or a residential treatment program.

Together we will assess the duration of your therapy on an on-going basis.

Mark Stops Drinking and Discovers
Compassion for Himself and Others

I was drinking too much. I knew that I had a problem but I certainly didn’t know what to do about it. I had worn down the trust and respect of my partner and myself with countless broken promises, and in the depth of my confusion and pain I found Candace’s number on the internet and gave her a call. It was one of the most valuable calls I have ever made.

With Candace’s help and guidance I was able, for the first time in my memory, to recognize and fully accept my feelings. Eventually I became able to understand what was making me drink abnormally and what I could do about it. Candace patiently helped me to realize that the drinking was the symptom of my problems and not the cause of them.

Talking with Candace has been very illuminating for me, as I continue to find myself in the midst of the ongoing revelation called Life. My self-respect has come back, and my dealings with my family have become healthy. My mind is far more open and my thought processes are clearer. I find compassion now for others, and even for myself, which I simply never could have felt before. I understand and know myself today, and I recognize and act on all of my problems instead of drinking in order to run away from them.

Couple Counselling

If you are experiencing problems in your relationship, due to your own addiction or your partner’s addiction, couple counselling can be very helpful.

When you or someone you care about has addictive behaviours, communication can easily break down. Feelings of anger, fear, and defensiveness often cover the love you have for each other, and can leave you feeling unfulfilled, confused, unloved or even hopeless.

In couple counselling, the two of you will learn new communication tools, such as active listening and reflecting. This will ensure that you are both accurately hearing what the other is saying. You will also learn how to give feedback to each other without raising your voice, expressing hostility or communicating in a disrespect way.

This will help you experience more honest and heartfelt communication with each other, leading to more love and respect in your relationship.

Being able to speak your truth to your partner in a safe and non-judgemental environment can make all the difference in your relationship. Tensions between you ease as you realize you will not be judged or talked down to when you say what is on your mind.

I will act as an objective mediator and interpreter, assisting both of you to speak from your hearts and listen to each other respectfully.

Length of Sessions:
Couple counselling sessions are one hour in length, unless otherwise negotiated. At the beginning, it is best to commit to coming once a week in order to start practicing the skills you are learning in the sessions.

Length of Therapy:
As with individual sessions, the length of couple therapy will depend on the issues you have come to heal. Together we will assess the extent of the harm that has already been done to your relationship. We will then find solutions and work to rebuild the trust between you.

Mark’s Sobriety Saves His Relationship

Candace can’t change the fact that I am an alcoholic, but as an addict with long-term recovery herself, she has the understanding that I needed, as well as the professional knowledge and skill to help me begin my recovery from my addiction. I have been able to increase my self-awareness, personal development and ability to care for myself.

This has, without a shadow of a doubt, saved my relationship with my girlfriend because it has brought my self-respect back. She is beginning to trust me again, and we are talking about getting married and having children. I no longer feel like I have to hide what I am feeling from her, so that means I can be much more present in our life together.

I fully recommend that you talk to Candace if you think you have a problem with alcohol, drugs or other addictions, and I also fully recommend Candace for couple counselling. She has helped my partner and me to salvage our relationship, something we were really not sure we would be able to do.

Family Counselling

Addictive behaviour can cause many problems in a family.

Substance abuse, for example, can leave your family feeling fearful and apprehensive.

A gambling addiction or over-spending can create financial chaos in your family.

An eating disorder can negatively affect the physical health of someone you love.

You may find it challenging to unravel the unhealthy dynamics in your family that have developed as a result of a family member’s addiction. You may simply be too close to the problem to be able to see it objectively.

And even if you do understand the problems you and your family are experiencing, it is often difficult to change them without professional help.

If relationships in your family are strained, I can help you name the problem areas and identify what is causing the pain and confusion.

As you ease the tensions amongst yourselves, you will learn healthier ways of relating to one another.

Length of sessions:
Sometimes it is best for family members to see me individually. At other times it may be best to have sessions with the whole family. Together we can assess what is most helpful for you and your family.

Sessions with individual family members are one hour in length, and 1-1/2 hours when I see your entire family together.

Length of Therapy:
The length of family therapy varies depending on the issues needing to be resolved. Together we will decide on how long the therapy continues.

Accepting Reality:
Tony’s Family Confronts Addiction

My brother and I first contacted Candace because one of our sisters was addicted to heroin and living out on the street. We didn’t know what to do so we decided to go to a counsellor to get some advice.

We decided to see Candace together for a few sessions, talking about what it was like to grow up in our pretty strange and dysfunctional family. Even though we didn’t initially go to talk about ourselves, we both found that we felt much better after our sessions.

Candace then started to see our other siblings individually, and then our parents in couple sessions, to help us learn how to become more united as a family and set clear boundaries with our sister. It was amazing to us to see how much energy our family had been spending on the squeakiest wheel, while the rest of us had felt neglected by our parents for many years!

Candace educated us about addiction. She showed us how to have compassion and understanding toward our sister, while at the same time not letting her behaviour rule our home. We stopped putting up with her abusive ways, giving her clear choices about what she would need to do if she wanted to be part of our family.

It took a while, but our sister is now in early recovery from her heroin addiction, something we didn’t think would ever happen. The rest of us have learned how to deal with her in more healthy ways, and we have become much closer as a family.

Working with Candace has been a blessing for all of us. We feel so lucky to have found her – she has changed our lives completely for the better!

Click here to read more about counselling for family and loved ones.

Telephone Counselling

There may be times when telephone counselling is preferable to coming to my office.

For example:

You live outside of the Lower Mainland or in a different province or country.
You have a physical disability that makes travelling difficult for you.
You are on vacation but would like to check in for emotional support.
You are out of town for your work and would like to receive some support.

The length and duration of counselling by phone is similar to that of face-to-face counselling. Sessions are generally one hour, and the duration of our therapy will be assessed by both of us on an ongoing basis.

I have been providing telephone counselling to clients for a number of years. It has proven to be very effective for both individual and couple therapy.

Telephone Counselling: Lynne and Jerry
Learn Healthy Communication

My husband and I live in Northern BC. For the last few years, we have been having communication problems and there were many times we thought about splitting up.

We decided to get some counselling, and we looked on the www.counsellingbc website where we found Candace’s listing. When we saw that she did telephone counselling, we contacted her and started our weekly sessions.

Sometimes we talked with Candace together, and sometimes she talked with us individually, depending on what we all thought was most needed at the time. I think the most important thing Candace has taught us was how to really listen to each other, without interrupting or coming up with a quick reply. Candace slowed our communication down so we could learn to really hear what the other was saying and meaning.

Several months later, we are now so used to this new way of communicating that we are always willing to stop, slow down, and check things out with each other whenever we feel confused about what is being said. We feel so much closer to each other now!

My husband and I recently celebrated 6 years together, thanks to Candace. Although we have not met her in person, we have found the telephone counselling with Candace to be incredibly helpful in resolving our communication difficulties.

Click here to read more about telephone counselling.

Family and Loved Ones Counselling Group

Are you affected by a loved one’s addictive behaviour?

This group will focus on helping you learn how to PUT YOURSELF FIRST.

Ultimately, this is what will be the most helpful to you and to the one you love who is struggling with addiction.

Samantha Removes Her Blinders
and Discovers Self-Respect

When I first came in to see Candace, I was really struggling with a lot of personal issues around a family member's addiction, as well as problems in several key relationships.

Over the course of a year, with Candace's gentle but firm guidance, I have come to understand so much about myself and my role in these dysfunctional relationships. She has taught me practical skills to help me create boundaries in my relationships, deal with childhood issues, and most importantly, cultivate a new sense of self-respect.

I feel as if I have had blinders on for years. Candace has helped me to gently remove those blinders and start dealing with my life. I'm now more in touch with my emotions. I see myself more clearly and lovingly, and I'm much more equipped to cope with the difficulties that arise in my relationships. I no longer allow other people to walk all over me, and I now speak my truth to the people in my life, including my drug-addicted brother.

Candace has been so supportive, so encouraging, and so persistent – I am ever grateful for the work she has done with me.

If you are a family member or loved one of a person caught up in addictive behaviours, you can receive both knowledge and emotional support in this group.

This weekly therapy group brings you together with other people just like yourself, who are having a difficult time coping with a loved one’s addiction.

There is also an educational component, where we will discuss the cause of addictions such as substance abuse, gambling, and disordered eating. We will look at various treatment methods, and which types of approaches work best to help your addicted loved ones get the help they need.

You will learn how to set boundaries with your loved ones and establish a self-care plan for yourself, so that you can lead a healthier and happier life.

For example, if your partner has an alcohol or drug addiction and is constantly asking you for money, you have the right to say no!

If a loved one is engaging in over-spending, disordered eating, or smoking, it is all right for you to reach out for help and support for yourself.

You cannot control another human being – you can only control your own choices and your own reactions. Regardless of what the other people around you may be choosing for themselves, you can learn to make healthy choices for your own life.

For more information about any of these services, or to have a free 15-minute telephone consultation with me, you can reach me at (604) 677-5876, or by email at candace@candaceplattor.com.

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My office is located in Vancouver, BC, Canada. I provide therapy and counselling services for the Greater Vancouver area including Vancouver, Burnaby, Richmond, North Vancouver and West Vancouver.